So I notice, my words and actions are contradictory towards each other. On one hand, I act like there's nothing wrong with me. I laugh, I smile, I joke, I kid. So yeah, normal. But my words show a whole other side of me. So now I guess what I'm searching for here is balance. I'm going to embrace what god has given me. I'm not blind or deaf so, I guess I just need to realise how much I already have. I caught a bottle thrown by pete wentz, I went to a fall out boy concert, I have the fall out boy cd. I am really blessed to be me. I know I go off track sometimes but I'd like to believe it's possible to bounce back. And that though there are hard times where it seems like there are 100 foot tall walls standing all around me, I know after a while I can find something inside me to make those walls just fall. Cause what I must learn to rely on is myself, to bring myself happiness, and to make me realise that life will fall in line with me when I fall in line with life. There is always hope yet, everyone has to realise that there is enough hope to go around forever. I sound like a cheesy motivational tape, gosh. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm dysfunctional, but I still function, I turn out, sort of. I don't give a flawless performace but I try. And what I need to realise is that I am a human, I am not a machine. My thoughts are as powerful as my actions, I am whatever the hell I want to be. So now, the only question is, what am I gonna let myself become?
I'm not normal in the sense that I question more than I should or maybe it's just how I am. We're all not the same, and thank god for that. And it's time we all accept that we are what we are. Imperfections, and everything. I'm not perfect but hell, I'm pretty cool if I do say so myself.