I realise how small things, like asking questions make a huge difference in lives. I'm not a peace maker of any sorts, but I'd like to think I'd make a difference in the lives of others. I feel different, I feel impact. By the truth of others, and by the lies I've told. I know I won't be the next female president, but I could settle for less. I know, some might think I seek attention, I'm loud, I'm wild, I'm not what I want to be. Before I go to sleep, I constantly ask myself if I'm a good person, I want to be better. I want to be soft, I want to be fragile. Like the words spoken by true lovers, I want to mean something. I know it's impossible to be liked by everyone, everytime, but I want to be liked by only one person, myself. Before I sleep, I want to be able to ask myself if I'm a good enough person in this world that's starting to seem too big for me to handle. I want to know that I'm worthy of waking up the next day, confident in my actions. I realise now what I fear the most is isolation from the world, and I know now, that is what I need, isolation. From there I can learn to stand alone when there's no one else to catch me when I fall. Here and now, is where I start to lick my wounds to recovery. I am learning so many things about myself by watching others. With every emotion others feel, I learn empathy, humility, patience, and that's where my words come to life. Not the emotions of myself, but from the emotions that surround me, the emotions that fuel my emiotions. I want to be at peace with my mind, cause that's where the seams are tearing. I don't want to care what others think when they see me, I want to accept myself before I have others accept me.
I don't want to look back thinking "Here I go again, saying words I don't mean." So I guess this is a long way of asking a question but, I know how you feel about the soon to be old me, but how do you feel about you?