To be depressed is a frame of mind. But to not feel anything, it's just not normal. I don't want to be normal. Happiness is just a fleeting moment for me. I'm just digging a deeper hole for myself here, I just want to get out.
I want to rip myself apart, all the way to my bones. Right down to that last drop of blood I don't want anything more for myself. I want to scream till my throat bleeds, I just want to be torn apart so badly that it's not funny anymore. My words may seem harsh, like the sharp end of a blade. But I can't help it anymore. I'm not nuts, I'm angry. I'm not pained, I'm dying. This isn't a pity party, I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for an answer to my theoretical question. I don't want to be looked at because these sideways glances burn. I don't want to be touched cause I don't want to feel a thing anymore.
I'm sick of all these senses that only bring suffering. I just find all this ridiculous.